I’ve had the same personal phone number for over 15 years and today I received a call from someone I haven’t heard from for a very long time…
It’s kind of strange when you get older because the friends you make now
usually evolve around your career and work life.
There is something to be said about still being friends with someone who you experienced your childhood with…
Something nostalgic… Something pure.
I guess that is why most of us hold on so closely to our childhood friends because of the fact that they go way back and share the same memories…
I know I do.
But as I’ve gotten older I realized that people change.
People grow, and some people are only meant to be in your story of life book for one chapter and not the whole book.
The person that called me grew up in the same neighborhood as me, knew the same people, and had all the same opportunities as me…
It like really trips me out knowing that both of us fast forward to the future ended up in two completely different places.
He was one of my best childhood friends but ended up getting involved with the wrong crowd and got into a situation that landed him in the State Penitentiary for 8 years.
During his entire sentence I kept in contact by writing letters and putting money on his books.
The day of his release I picked him up and took him home to reunite with his mother and family.
I really went out of my way to make sure he was in a good position to start his life over again…
Something that goes back to the whole childhood friends thing, felt like I had to “keep it real” and do what I’d expect someone else to do for me if I was in that situation…
It didn’t take long before the streets caught back up with him.
He started hanging out with the wrong crowd and me and him seeing each other went from every day to weeks and months not even keeping in touch.
During that time I was doing well with my online business and he was just a felon fresh out of jail looking to get his life back together.
I’m sure there was some bitterness and awkwardness being around knowing I was doing really good and others were struggling to get by…
The months of not talking ended up being years…
Last time I heard, word on the streets was he ended up catching a probation violation over some small amounts of dope that put him back in the system for another year of his life.
I didn’t care to try to help like I did in the past because our relationship had turned from best buds to me scolding my younger brother and him being rebellious with everything I was trying to say…
Even though I was just looking out for him.
After that short bid he ended up getting strung out on hard drugs and hanging around more people who were into that sort of thing.
I remember randomly driving by his mothers house just to pop up on him but was told by his mom that she kicked him out…
Guess she got tired of the antics too.
So that was about 3 years ago… And today I finally get that call from him.
A part of me wishes he was doing well, but at this point in life he has picked to play the victim card and blames everyone but himself for where he is at.
I’m also tired of being “that guy” that sounds like I’m always lecturing him.
As much as I wish things were different I have to be realistic and just accept that this is how it is, and this is how some people are.
Some people aren’t meant to be successful and there is nothing no one can do about it except them until they choose to correct it.
I took what I learned from this experience and witnessed this scenario happen again and again with numerous friends from my past.
There are those social groups that you may have partied with in your 20’s that you outgrow.
Some of you may still be hanging with the same crew…
Me personally I’ve found that even in the past few years my entire mindset and thoughts are completely different from what they were not too long ago.
And when I hang around the same groups of people I find myself having to dumb down my conversation to fit in with everyone…
Instead of being uplifting and inspiring I feel like the conversation is more around just humor and being polite.
Not trying to be on some high horse but the vision and the language just aint the same…
And I’ve questioned myself like yo why do I hold these people so damn close to my heart?
Is it because they have or share some piece of history and memories with me which makes me hold on??
I guess a part of me does value it as though it’s something sacred.
Life goes on.
People aren’t meant to stick around forever.
Some people hold on so tight to their inner circle that they never venture outside of it.
I’m at the point in my life where I’m expanding my reach and trying to make friends with good people from all around the world.
Yes they will never have that childhood place in my heart but I’m certain even now that it’s possible to make new best friends as adults.
Ask yourself if you’ve been holding on or hanging around the same crowds of people just because of your past history with each other.
Are they inspiring you and motivating you to be a better person?
Are they supporting your dreams and goals and being positive in helping you get to those goals?
If they are that’s awesome but the majority of the time that’s not the case.
What I realized was that I was always going out of my way to “be” a friend to that person and the effort was not being reciprocated.
As much as I wished it wasn’t like that, it was.
So today when he called me after all these years I looked at my phone and seen the incoming call with his name on it…
And I slowly declined.
I’ll let nature take it’s course and if that person was meant to be in my life I’m sure God or some higher being will make sure our souls cross paths once again.
For now, I’m closing old doors and welcoming new ones to be opened in my life.
So here’s a toast to new memories and new friends.